Friday, June 26, 2009

Well I dunno if you heard, ...

... but Michael Jackson has passed away.

Anyway, I'm not gonna whine here, nor talk about his history and stuff.

Legends come and go, their trace is in music and in the future of arts which they have influenced.

If you think about it, we're really getting deep into this end of a generation/era thing.

It's ending, now it's time for new influences, new music, new fashion, new trends.

Honestly the way modern mainstream music sounds today, it's going to be crap.

After that it's gonna rise again and change and a different style.

It's pretty amazing after observing history and the earlier days, we're in the middle of the making of the future's history.

It's like a modern-day Renaissance, revolution; it is the time of change, and our generation is in the middle of it. Some of us will make it, some of us will be doing something safe which would kinda help the rest of us create and make history and the future.

It's exciting, no?

Things build on themselves, nothing just comes out of a person-who-was-in-a-cave's ass, something would be in the cave.

The past
The history
His story, her story

Different versions of different things, misinterpretations create room for imagination, mistakes create creativity, difference creates art, a force of balance and life.

Cheers to the future and the gods of inspiration.

Sunday, June 21, 2009


I think a certain amount of people are just there as an opposite force to balance things out.

On a large scale it would be a large number probably, they probably exist everywhere.

Maybe they're just born that way; born different.
Though maybe they're just created that way by the circumstances around them.

Insanity is a bliss.

Only the different and the insane truely change people.
Probably how religion started.

But as people got more things involved in their lives, these opposite forces just end up having different paths to be different in.

Meaning they have a certain degree of being normal.

So when being normal and being insane clashes in an insane person's brain, the person gets confused.

Insanity doesn't follow logic, but with logic being on the rise it is most probable that at some point a person's insanity and logic clashes.

As humans we can't ignore things around us that easily, it takes a lot of courage to make the choice and a lot of strength and spirit to stick to it.

It takes a lot of insanity to resist logic and actually come up with something different.

I don't think it's only logic and science that guides our life, I think we have a lot to do with it.

No not an egotistical thing that controls everything, but us, humans.

An insane person can utilize logic to make sense out of his insanity and his insane thoughts to her/himself.

Logic in thinking is guided by people, and science guides people, yet many people defy logic and create beauty.

If the truth about life were to be announced, known, understood, and proven, life would be quite boring.

If science proved everything, and we knew it all, one insane person would come out and create an image or a concept that goes against all that what is known, and would give hope to people; but even then, nobody would be able to do anything amazing, we would be completely knocked down by the truth.

Science expects everything, science is security and peace.

Believing and imagining is excitement and chaos.

Chaos is wonderful, how would life be if we had no chaos?

Where would god be without the devil?

Where would art be without oppressors?

Where would people be without the insane people going against them.

And it really makes me think about those people, security and fear for our lives is actually what makes us get rid of people and toss them away, when in fact they really create some life in our lives.

Just like children move couples' lives.

It's sad how growing up kills it.

It's sad when there's too much of an effect of humanity on a person.

Yeah, yeah, I know I've blabbed about this before.

But fuck you.

Saturday, June 20, 2009

Some nice quotes

I really like those.

"We must question the story logic of having an all-knowing all-powerful God, who creates faulty Humans, and then blames them for his own mistakes."
- Gene Roddenberry

"When one person suffers from a delusion it is called insanity. When many people suffer from a delusion it is called religion."
- Robert Pirsig

"Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has."
- Margaret Mead

"I am a tree growing by the river water. I have a right to be here and I have a right to manifest boldly here."
- Yolanda Falrell

"Fags, for all that boys defined them as powerless, weak, and unmanly, seemed to wield an immense amount of power. A fag is profoundly unmasculine yet possesses the ability to penetrate and thus render any boy unmasculine."
- "Dude You're a Fag"

"My reading of history convinces me that most bad government results from too much government."
- Thomas Jefferson

"I swore never to be silent whenever and wherever human beings endure suffering and humiliation. We must always take sides. Neutrality helps the oppressor, never the victim. Silence encourages the tormentor, never the tormented."
- Elie Wiesel

I doubt you read them you lazy assholes, but meh.

Thursday, June 18, 2009

Vagrant Story

So I have been playing this game I downloaded it on my pc, and I hav been enjoying it though it's a fucking tough game.

Anyway, this music really is amazing, I like those sad classical stuff. It's from a part in the game when the main character has a flashback about how his son and wife were killed.

Then the main antagonist tells him that they weren't killed, but he (the protagonist) killed them, because he could not save them.

It's deep when you think about it.

Tuesday, June 16, 2009

Don't misunderstand me

But I hate how women are such suckers for men, and I hate how men are such suckers for women.

I hate how the world seems to be all about sex, size, money, and power.

I hate how life is nothing but a materialistic pile of cunts, cocks, shit, embryos, buried under money.

I hate how people are so fucking shallow nowadays.

I hate how people want security.

I hate how people affect other people such that they kill passion in them.
If I ever have kids, I'm gonna let them do whatever after I make sure they can think, no matter what the fuck it is.
But I don't like kids and won't have them.

I hate how pathetic people are, they seem like nothing but drones.

I hate how materialistic the world is.

I hate how the majority (materialistic cunts) control the social norms.

I hate how people follow the majority.

I hate fear.

I hate the "god" entitiy (whether it exists or not), it's nothing, fuck it and its dildo (humans).

I hate how people have no FUCKING SENSE OF EMPATHY.

I hate how people are so close-minded sometimes... most of the time actually, even though they are open.

I hate patriots and patriotism, it's racism with a cause; hate with a reason.

I hate how people don't take care of their children and end up making them sluts and dumbasses.

I hate how women, even when they try being feminists and act honorable, mostly end up weak.

I hate how a lot of women succumb to men.

I hate how so many people are so fucking pathetic, they like pain.

I hate inflicting pain.

I hate how not hurting anyone makes you weak.

I hate how people created values and norms and crap but it ends up screwing us and shocking kids after they grow up.

I hate how adults lie so much that they ruin everything.

I don't wanna be an adult like that.

I hope I witness the day when people overthrow the lies fed down to us through politics.

I hate how I have morals and would hate to hurt people though I very much would like to tell someone how hypocritical they are.

I hate how I can't just fucking ignore hypocrites, no not even myself.

I hate people so much.

I hate the contrast between being nice and boredom.

I hate lust.


Monday, June 15, 2009

Dream of the Devil

Yeah... I did

It really freaked me the fuck out.
Now I don't remember everything, but I remember at some point SLEEPING (happy CHIMMIE?!?!) outside of my house or something on a weird rag-like roll, or a bamboo roll even, I have no idea.

Then I dunno what happened, but there was this test they wanted some people to take, so I saw a bunch of people I know who were just sitting there doing it on the computer, I don't remember what was going on really, some of them were saying stuff but I don't remember.

So I finally sat on my seat to take the test, the girl next to me (who was from school, she used to be kinda annoying, bto23od 3a 3asabi) started being kinda annoying by waving her hand in front of my face. And I just bit it, thought it wasnt a big bite, it was more likea nibble and it didn't bleed, I just saw a mark on.

Then I don't remember what was going on in the test, but me and a friend of mine (let's call her D) go out of the room, we get to the stairwell, I start to go up, then we see some other friend (let's call her A)carrying a lit cigarette (though she doesn't smoke) and she smiles and starts to go downstairs.

So we for some reason start going down the stairs, and on the way we see two girls from school, so all I remember from that part is that one of them was saying that a while back he (apparently she was talking about some other dude who used to hang out with them a LOT during school, I don't remember who or how anyone mentioned him) had a fight with everyone.

I asked why, and I'm guessing D told me she wants to show me something, coz next thing I know I was walking behind her and we go into this door (at this point it was similar to the ground floor of building C in uni).

Then I saw it, there was this little floating sign, it was just floating, it was like a floating writing written with a green light.

The writing was "\m/" as I remember it, but I'm not sure, though I do remember seeing it. It actually looked pretty cool, Dana took out her camera, which made me think (for some reason) that she should take a picture of it coz it's really cool and I mean it's floating for no reason, and I thought that the government would come to get rid of it lol...

So D takes out the camera and she takes a picture, and it flashes. Then she holds it to me so I can look, then in what felt like a second, I looked at the picture and saw a pair of glowing eyes on a dark figure staring at me, then I look up at the floating writing and the eyes were there staring.

Before I knew it I started running away and I just see another fucking weird scary figure that looked like a ghost I guess, I can't describe it, then I look away again and I see a little typical red devil with a moustache, then I run away and look behind me and I think I see someone, and for some reason I just pulled my head upwards (kinda like I'm looking up) then looking in front of me again, and the dude in front of me did the same but a green devil came out of his nose when he looked up lol.

And I just woke up very much compelled to scream a girly scream lol. And I think I did scream, coz I heard a weird scream while waking up XD

Nooooo idea

But that is one fucked up dream!!

Sunday, June 14, 2009


Oh, the negativity...

It sucks when someone you know has a good reason to be negative.

Then in a while you go "Wow I never even knew that was happening" then after the person dies you think "I wonder if I could have helped..."

It sucks even more when you know you can't help...

It really is funny how that when the country says (basically) "god, the king, the country" (dunno in what order), but they don't care about "god".

Entertaining isn't it?
Watching hypocrisy at its finest, watching money ascend to its constant (if not increasing) peak of power...


Saturday, June 13, 2009

My Dying Bride

Just shut up and listen to the song, can't describe the emotion I feel in this song.

It's powerful.

Though I didn't understand why there's that writing in the beginning of the video

Anyway Enjoy

By My Dying Bride

On Thorns I Lay

Well I found this band by mistake, a friend told me to listen to a song called crystal tears by enigma

But it later turned out, that the song is in fact:

Performed by a band On Thorns I Lay
From their album Crystal Tears

I heard a few of their songs on youtube, they're kinda repetitive, but they have a nice, sad, calm kind of songs that appeals to me sometimes, it's pretty good.

Of course it's a fucked up video, and the song cuts off at the outro, I think, coz it just cuts off.

Enjoy it :)

Friday, June 12, 2009

This week..

.. sucked my testies so hard, it sucks.

This is by far one of the most depressing weeks ever, I have had only like one pack of cigarettes for three days, not bad eh?

Though a friend of mine was back from Lebanon, and it was fun hanging out with him, but next thing you know, the week was sucking my testies again.

May I also say that I hate power, humans, the sexual hierarchy, the political hierarchy, all non-empathetic people, ass-kissers, egotistic cunts, airheads, and everyone else.

I have been home for like 2 days straight (and the two days before that, I went out, but it was more of a bummer really).

I am bored, and I have an exam on Saturday, which I probably won't study for.

Oh and the weather sucks, it's fucking hot and I can't even put my laptop on my lap because then my fucking balls would start sweating (I know that's graphic, but it's true, yes I have balls [testicles/danglers/dingling], and so do many other males in the world :o).

In bad cases I have to sleep in the nude (+undergarments lol) so that I wouldn't then wake up and take a very violent shit after lying down in bed for like 1-2 hours before getting up.

PS I don't care if you got grossed out or if you see me differently, I'm very bored and frustrated right now.

Oh and I'm not very sure about the Jackson guitar anymore, I have been uninspired for a while, how to get it back? NO idea!

So let's all wallow away in a pot of shit and die after following our scheduled, human, repetitive, talentless, routine life.

Fuck fuckity fuck
I'm fresh outta luck;
No talent to grow off,
And not a thought to chuck

Shit flabber-shit shit
Teenagers get zits;
They nail their cocks in futures,
But my penis won't even fit

Amman Jordan Amman
Aims to create a "man";
It fails because it's opressive,
And different unsocials are banned

Okay so I'm gonna go now lol


Wednesday, June 10, 2009


So I was pretty bored and ended up drawing this for the blog...


I'm so fucking bored!!!!

And there's this other thing bothering/stressing/pressuring/annoying me, which I don't wanna talk about.

Did you ever just feel uncomfortable no matter what you do..?
Like you sit down and you feel your clothes are annoying, then you lay down and your hand feels like it's going numb, then you sit with your legs crossed and your leg goes numb, then you try doing something but you can't do it coz it's not going along with you enough for you to be able to do it, then you sit and try to draw something for someone's long-gone birthday but you're not comfortable with anything at all.


For fuck's sake

I just wanna listen to a good death metal album D:

But noooo, seeds aren't available anymore at 95% -.-

In other news:

Fuck you, fuck you more.

Sunday, June 7, 2009


Been a while since I've posted anything.

Meh well.... just waiting for this semester to end, and I wanna get my license, hopefully, and a new guitar.

Just wanted to write something so that I wouldn't be like all the other bloggers who aren't blogging :D


Tuesday, June 2, 2009


6 fucking hours, that's right, SIX FUCKING HOURS, and I didn't do ANYTHING.
I just couldn't, ideas aren't flowing, I'm not excited about working, I'm just frustrated, out of "the zone", worked for one day then BAM.

I'm so screwed, I'd like to shake off whatever the fuck it is that's bothering me, but I don't even know what it is, if there is anything.

Is it the moodiness, the teacher, the atmosphere, the country?

I don't fucking get it I just can't fucking function properly..
Coffee doesn't cut it anymore, what the fuck is my problem?

I feel drained, sucked in, and shat out by a fucking depressed monkey's ass.

I'm gonna fail this design course badly.

And after all I say and think, it's nobody's fault but mine, for having no initiative and being a dumbass.