Just up at 4:33am. Can't sleep. This weekend seriously violated my sleeping schedule.
Funny thing... Arabic makes things sound more complex than they are sometimes... I'm just saying lol, kolo 5ara ya 3aalam it's not like that. Find your nirvana somewhere else, rather than analyzing every single thing. why are people scared of contradicting themselves? lol :D (seewutididthar?)
I have a Calculus quiz tomorrow and i have to be up in 3 hours. But it's nothing big, done it before and stuff.
Funny thing... being up right now, listening to the prayer, it sounds kinda nice. Anything religious should never be played in a taxi, and should never be played then forced upon others, and nobody should make you stop playing music for it. It's a respect to everything spiritual. I'm not religious, and I don't follow a religion, but it's good manners to just not play music when there's a prayer around.
Another funny thing... Why do people only ask those who don't fast "why don't you fast?" when not a single person asks someone who is fasting "why are you fasting?"
I mean seriously people, asking anyone whos fasting that question would give Amman a higher class of thinking lol.
Also, Marty Friedman (ex-Guitarist of Megadeth), has a bunch of nice instrumentals from his solo albums. You should listen to "Night" and "Loneliness", they're pretty soothing.
Oh I got new strings today. I hope that by the end of this month I am able to get an effects pedal. That would be amazing. Then maybe I would be able to get a good guitar later. I really have some stuff that I wanna put down in music. OH and I should go get that rababa already :\
Meh... Well for now I'm broke and I need to like... slow down.
Hmm I guess I'm a bit lost at this time.
You know it's weird.
So many things happened in the past year now that I think about it. You know I'm pretty sure I got misunderstood and fucked and bent over and got better and got confused and all that, but from last year to now, I think it went pretty well.
After this summer semester is over I'm gonna re-intensify my playing. Like the past year I have been like messing around scales, learning some here-and-theres, funk stuff then jazz stuff then mixing some blues with arab-sounding scales. Like I discovered stuff on my own in a way. Got some of me out there in my playing style. I can solo along with almost any rythem. But I need more consistancy in my playing. Lost that yellow pick one day, and now I'm playing with a friend's glow-in-the-dark pick which really slips out of my fingers a lot and makes me feel unstable on the guitar. My sweaty hands need the old pick back :\
What to do now... still got almost half of the laptop's battery left...
No thougts right now.
Just unstable. It's a lotta weight now that I think about it being there for your family and being the "man of the house". I mean I realized the past few months that I'm actually in the house and that my being there and my actions affect more than I know.
GOSH I wanna drink so bad lol. The family kinda reunites over drinks. It's pretty cool. But I'm thinking about not drinking this Ramadan. But I don't wanna make that promise to myself yet because I probably will end up drinking with Imad at some point. Yeah I'm broke though, so we'll see what happens with that lol.
I really feel like going out with a bunch of people but I gotta say. Now, from personal experience, I really understand how an economy can stress you out and create problems at home. If you don't go out much, you feel like shit, and you stress out REALLY EASILY, and you have NOTHING TO DO, and well... you become unproductive and develop stuff to get rid of the boredom. Oh and you feel a tad unsocial, but that'll probably change tomorrow for me since I will be making human contact at uni lol.
Hmm... there isn't much to talk about with people :\ it really sucks. Lol it would be funny if they could like just watch you rant as if they're reading your blog (oh nevermind, that would be vlogging).
But yeah, I'm sick of so much small talk -.- I mean it's the end of the semester and you still get people asking "2a man shoo 3alek halla2? 5allaset?" DUDE, you see me sitting 3al 2ard zay il sha77ad with people here EVERYDAY, do you think I suddenly have a class I have to go to? ... well then again I'm being a bit harsh, it's a good conversation starter... sometimes.
Well actually the thing is that if you actually have something to talk aobut, you talk. Some people just don't click and you just stare at eachother and around you and touch yourself (appropriately here, calm down kids), tap on your thigh, and you just don't talk. YOU JUST CAN'T TALK.
Yeah it sucks ass doesn't it?
Meh oh well.
I guess sometimes those awkward situations are created mentally. Like you meet someone for a while, then you go "oh we just don't click" but you might "click", and probably you will, coz probably everyone can "click", it's just about the attitude, and the stubborn assholeness of the people. But we all have our rights to choose who we talk to. Then the awkward attitude became a pandemic and people everywhere tend to resort to it.
Yes btw 3am bafti la2alla wo batfalsaf, but I think I'm starting to get sleepy so yay!!!
Funny I never thought I would keep blogging til now. I mean blogging was a phase where a lot of people got into it, then just a few good ones remain and keep writing. It was like a trend at some point. But I still enjoy it from time to time.
Is life really all aobut phases? I hope I never lose my passion for anything I do. I think I lost my passion for drawing since I became an architecture student. It drains your passion really, you learn to become a part of the system, a pawn in a monarchy, a cog in the machine. I don't want that. They really try to tame your artistic talents in school and university. It's almost shameless. And your parents make you study because giving up your passion is the best way to be "secure"
Security sucks. I don't wanna have a secure life. It's nice to be a freebird. We don't have enoguh freebirds in Jordan to inspire revolution or strength or passion in the people. It's horrible. We're so systemized, we're trapped in whining about the things that don't matter really, and we don't realize what we're a part of until it's too late.
We're just a part of the system and we're going according to plan by not fighting back. Now they're trying to organize our art into their system. Just like they organized artists to be architects.
Oh shit it's 5:07 now, :\ gotta sleep now. :)
Nice talkin to ya, minshoofak man, yalla salam, 3ala raasi walla
Okay yalla good night fuckers
10 months ago